Some days I am insane with rage and frustration, where I snap over the slightest of slights and freak out about nearly nothing which is almost everything. I feel this tension in my head, in my skin, in my spirit. I flex and clench my muscles, trying to break out of my skin, to free myself from the anguish of this body. I have a glare in my eye and a snarl on my lips. I can’t contain myself.
When I am like this the world becomes very antagonistic. Things happen that never happen on better days. I want to tear people to shreds for their rampant stupidity and complacency. And why the hell are they indignant about everything? Ignorant fools. One of the essentials in life is to not be an obstacle. Get out of the way. People only ever make themselves appear dumber.
A little (true) story from work – I was copied on an email in which the sender asked one the recipients for their email address. That would be like me walking up to Mary and asking, “Hey Mary, what’s your name?”
Here’s a quote that has been on my mind all day – “Vision without action is a daydream. Action without vision is a nightmare.” [Japanese proverb]
On days like today, whenI am experiencing this profound anger, I feel as though I am living in everyone else’s collective nightmare. In this place, people act without thinking and move without looking. They have no idea of what they’re doing, nor any sense of the impact on their surroundings. Most people are already dead. They’re just going through the motions of life. I can hear the zombies now, begging, pleading, doing anything for someone’s brain. “Please don’t make me use my own.” The living dead are indignant about thinking or doing anything on their own. Any exertion of effort could knock what little is left of their life out of them. Heaven forbid.
Please leave me alone.