The Downside of Balconies

I live in an apartment building.  It’s nice, quiet & there aren’t too many bad apples in the building.  Well, except for the people who live above us.  They sweep their balcony over the edge and onto ours!  At some point in the summer, either a dog or a human urinated over the edge, stinking up and staining part of our balcony.  But the event that broke my silence was about a week ago.

I woke up and went outside for my coffee and cigarette.  After a few minutes, I realize that I am almost resting my elbow in some orange gunk.  It was kind of like carrot soup.

Someone had vomitted over the edge.  I was on the verge of doing so myself!  I fancy myself logical and deductive.  I examined the dispersal of the ‘vomit splatter’.  Our balcony had one concentrated spot.  The balcony below had two, but close together.  The balcony beneath that one had two – these ones spread out even further.  And so on.  I think four balconies were affected.  None of them had the one concentrated spot.  It must’ve come from the balcony directly above.

Further to this – they had a mop resting over their railing for the better part of a week afterwards.  Someone cleaned up a mess up there!

Since then, they have not apologized.  They have not offered to clean up the mess.  Nothing.  I find that very rude.

I offer the following picture as proof that this is a true story.  Beware…this is a picture of vomit.

vomit-apartment-shift-003.jpg

One Response to The Downside of Balconies

  1. Mike says:

    Hey! oh man that made me laugh because i know how shit it is! on saturday night our neighbour on the second floor vomited all over (and i mean all over..) our balcony. he washes his balcony with buckets of water usually.. like 10 buckets of water with bits of dog bone and crap come down onto ours.. hes dumb girlfriend has even done it over our washing line. this guy upstairs tells everyone hes the body corporate when i found out hes just renting and getting paid to wash the stairs. hes revolting.

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