Where in the world is humanity? I wonder about this all the time. Humanity is more than looking after your self, your family and friends. Humanity is sacrificing for the benefit of all. Nope – humanity is survival. We hunt like animals. We conquer, consume and destroy. It’s very cannibalistic. Oh well, such is the strife of life.
I’m going to be a father. Holy jumpin’, look at me, a father?! I have so much work to do on myself before I can be a reliable guide. I’m frightened sometimes. Overwhelmed at other times. Excited too. All sorts of emotions, fears and fantasies are engaged in fabricating this certain surreality surrounding me.
I am in love with the baby’s mother. I love the baby. I want them to be happy, comfortable and safe.
But, holy shit! Can I do this? I know I can, but there’s that damned part of me that won’t let the rest of me relax until I know for certain. So I push myself too hard – all work and no play sort of mentality. Mind you, some of my work is play.
I haven’t been writing here because I’ve used every spare moment to write and edit the first draft of a new screenplay. Writing here is a frivolous waste of my precious time, but I like it. The story is pretty good. I was hoping to squeeze another in before Christmas, but it isn’t looking good.
This is our baby @ 12 weeks, 4 days. In a freakish twist of fate, I was allowed to watch the entire ultrasound session (Wednesday past). Wow! Alive and kicking. And that’s all that matters. This feeling overwhelms me. We’re a family. And tears swell up in my eyes. I get that painful lump in my throat. I grow lost in some endorphin enriched sensation of perfection. My family. Beautiful mother and child. A miracle in the making. Mind blowing, all encompassing love and compassion.
In these moments, I drop my guard on the backdoor of my consciousness and my fears flood unobstructed through to the very sensitive centre of my being. This feeling, not a nice feeling, is what wakes me up most mornings.
Can I give my family the life I think they deserve?
As an addendum to the post about Ontario Driver’s Licences, new security features & encoding citizenship information.
Read about how critical personal information was available to the web-viewing public on Canada’s Passport website.
And the government (doesn’t matter which level!) thinks it can provide security.
Ontario released it’s new high-tech driver’s licence today. It is supposed to be much more secure than existing licences, with new security features like:
Just wondering – aren’t all bar codes two dimensional? Every one I’ve ever seen has height and width – otherwise there wouldn’t really be anything to scan. But the other features sound secure…I guess.
But here’s the kicker – the Ontario government is hoping that US Homeland Security will allow the new (secure) licences as legitimate travel documents (in lieu of passports). However, in order to do so, citizenship information must be encoded onto the driver’s licence.
Whoa! Let the profiling begin. For instance, the government could analyze traffic offences vs. country of birth. Insurance companies might figure out that certain countries produce poor drivers for Ontario conditions and surreptitiously hike rates.
The government (specifically, law enforcement) could generate a list of all driver’s from Iraq, Iran or whichever country might be defined as a threat (?!!) to the west and do what? I don’t know, but the fact that a list such as this could be generated is frightening.
Not sure it’s a good idea to lump most (all) personal information into a single source. We’re worried about identity theft and the solution is to put more information in one place?! That’s kind of like grouping all the planes at Pearl Harbor into the centre of the field. It solved a small problem (local sabotage) and opened the door to a much greater problem (bombs from the sky).
Just a few passing thoughts.
If you want to read the full story.