Less obscure, attack the issues. So what’s going on in the world? What crime, what misery should I dredge up for your perverse perusal or review? What does it matter? You were cut off in your car and your words. No one wants to hear. I want people to worship me, but I hate followers. You can blaze a trail for so long, then realize you’re all alone. No one to witness your glory, to recount your story. In the end, it’s gory. Sorry, I burnt all the worms and maggots. You’ll need a couple faggots to stoke the fire. Stroke the liar for the truth about me. One either spews lies or blurts the truth. No one ever blurts lies. Good lesson for all would-be deceivers. Blurt. You’ve heard references to selling your soul, but have you ever heard of someone selling their spirit? Spirit is priceless, invaluable. A soul is nothing in comparison. What’s more obscure than that? Lots, I declare.
I don’t understand anything. One minute I’m callous, then I’m intensely sympathetic. I want to scream. Cry. Freak the fuck out. Sleep. I want to write. Rip my head from my ever shrinking shoulders. I want peace. I want people to understand the spells of self-loathing I experience. The blissful moments too. Headaches. I am superior. I am inferior. I am both sides of the equal sign. Or maybe I am the two lines in between. Art is the average without the mean. You know what I mean? Mean? Is that mean? Mean? Mean. Set up the set. Strike the set. Game, set, match me if you can. Climb time.
Everyone’s fucked. That’s the truth. We all try to hide, seek and destroy. Crouch in the bushes too long and you become a slouch bound to a couch. Ouch. I am sorry to have offended the Universe with my thoughts of multiple (infinite) partners. There is truly one and only. My one and only. Lonely as it may be. This is all there is for me. A Universe of one, built to please, but pleasure is a disease. No doubt about it. That’s the main reason for the first sentence of this paragraph.
I am built on pleasure. I spent the first half of my life developing habits I will miss in the second half. See. I’m at this transition point. A x B does not always equal B x A. Am I the equation, the process, or the sum of all parts? If I am none, I am all. If all, none. I am nothing, if not myself, anything but myself, not this poor self. Woe is glee. A hoofless horse tramples not. Probably should be shot. I can’t take what it’s got to do something like that, I’d rather not.
I don’t understand how we get upset when we see real human death on television, but watching animal deaths is all right. More natural, I guess. Never made sense to me how we could be so far separated from all other living things on this planet. Then it occurred to me…maybe we’re not alive at all.
Living in defiant compliance to the appliance of science. Where does religion fit into the equation? Does God have anything to do with religion? What if the preachers are wrong and their concept of an omnipotent and ever present deity doesn’t jive with post-reality? Why does wisdom begin with the ‘fear of God’? Why do you need to fear your supposed creator? It’s the preacher who wants you frightened, easier to persuade and control you when you’re afraid. Preachers can’t stand up to logic because there is no logic in religion, no logic to God, no logic in a singularity. It doesn’t make sense. Have faith, my child – or so they told me. I wonder…how strong would any Church be if it was built upon faith alone? I simply don’t understand religion. I am sorry, but don’t you have any of your own ideas? Do you really live your life and think your thoughts as would a pious person? Probably not. I would say the pious person is a myth, another reflection on Socrates’ cave wall. We all want to kill someone. We all want to hate. No one tells the truth all the time. That’s why no one truly trusts anyone else. We live in a world of deception, confusion and interference. No wonder you seek for someone else to tell you how to be and what to do, but it’s not you and you can feel it. The deep inner frustration of unfulfilment (I know it’s not a word, but I like the sound of it!). You can’t wait for something you don’t know to happen, it might never be. You have to take advantage of now. Something (anything) is manifest quicker by work than by wish. Or you can sit on an uncomfortable pew and lament about your pain. The two worlds of self and God cannot co-exist. They tear each other apart and the tatters are remnants of what we hoped we could be, but are not. If everyone’s on stage, there couldn’t be an audience. Do you understand what that means?
I have learned to hear about things of a cosmological, astrological, quantum nature. I have learned that I will never truly understand what physicists are talking about, even when they are speaking ‘common tongue’. For instance, take the neutrino. When the neutrino was confined to mathematical equations and not the observable Universe, it had two suspicious properties. First, it was massless. Second, it was moving at the speed of light and, therefore had no internal clock (not subject to time). If something is without mass and moving at the speed of light (one is a condition of the other), then it cannot be detected by anything we know.
Scientists figured they could detect (and prove the existence of) the neutrino by proxy. The neutrino was thought to interact with certain other nuclei, knocking electrons out of them (or something like that) in wild, random collisions. An experiment was set up to test this theory & boom…the collision anticipated by mathematics occurred. Now the neutrino ventures into the reality of quantum physics (it was observed!). This happened something like 40 years ago.
Here’s what I don’t understand. How does something without mass interact with and affect something with mass? It doesn’t make sense. If I throw nothing at something, then I cannot expect something to be affected. However, the massless neutrino – somehow defying the laws of physics – could. It has since been proven that the neutrino does, in fact, have a mass (& is not moving at the speed of light), but it took years for this to be understood.
Another thing, our Universe might only be one of an infinite number Universes, each with it’s own unique set of physical laws (properties). I shouldn’t have to say, but we’re only familiar with our own Universe. Regardless, there’s a theoretical probability that there is another Universe in which you have blue hair or another in which you don’t exist at all. There’s a Universe where Elvis is alive and well, Jimmy Hoffa is a day care specialist, and everyone has legs for arms and arms for legs. There could be a Universe identical to ours in every way, except it’s five minutes ahead. Anything you can think of is possible.
In theory then, all these self-contained Universes are floating around somewhere, I am not precisely sure where. It is probable that there are sometimes collisions between two (or more) Universes, which could, to an extent, explain the Big Bang from our perspective. However, with an infinite number of Universes, it is possible there are an infinite number of collisions, which equates to an infinite number of Big Bangs – just not all in our particular Universe (membrane).
Is there any observable interaction between Universes? I don’t know, but let’s think for a moment. What about ghosts and other phenomena we refer to as supernatural? Could these be trace elements of another Universe (or dimension)? Maybe.
I mention dimensions. We’re familiar with the first three – height, width, depth. The fourth dimension is time. The first three dimensions move fluidly through the fourth. Nothing is ever the same in four dimensions, one point will ALWAYS change (typically time). I don’t know anything about dimensions 5 through 11, except that our Universe doesn’t really make much sense unless they are included.
For instance, gravity as a force in four dimensional space is very weak, comparatively speaking. You can defy gravity with a fridge magnet. We are pulled by the full force of the Earth, yet can lift small and large objects alike. Why is gravity so weak? Well, it turns out there’s a possibility that gravity (as we know it) is only the remnants of that which bled through from the 11th dimension. Meaning, gravity might originate in the 11th dimension & some of it’s force ‘leaks’ into and affects our reality.
Oh…and the 11th dimension is extremely thin, but infinitely long. Even stranger, the 11th dimension is closer to pretty much everything in this dimension than anything else in this dimension. Does that make sense? It is less than 10 to the power of -20 micrometers away. The 11th dimension is closer to you than the clothes you’re wearing.
What strange place do we inhabit?!