I haven’t been writing here because I’ve wanted to keep the Aaron Smith posts on my homepage in some vain hope of keeping that part of the dream alive. Dreaming precludes work, but work is meaningless without a dream. I’ve been resting on the former and neglecting the latter. Time to switch things around, be profound and work, write, speak without a sound.
Aaron Smith may someday leap out from the distant past, and my personal past, with his enigmatic smirk and become very real again (in a post-modern sense). Until then, onward.
I’ve been busy not working on this new screenplay. Living instead. Well, not even that. I think I’ve been in a waking coma for the last several months. Like insanity…one cannot self-diagnose in these cases. I am reaching this conclusion based on my total lack of output since February (or earlier). And in this retrospective moment, I have been struggling to scream and nothing can escape me. I am a prisoner within me. I don’t want to listen to me anymore.
Ummm, that’s not wholly precise.
The wrong part of me does not listen to the right part of me and I am mostly the wrong part of me in many regards. An internal uncivil war because there’s only one victim…me. Or so I think. There are many around me who could claim to be casualties of this war. Friendly fire. Shrapnel. Debris. Hubris.
Bullshit. All of it. Time to get back on track.