How Shit Is My Job? (part one)

February 23, 2011

I am really trying to be less negative at work, but it seems to be impossible so long as people keep forcing their own personal dramas into my life.  Don’t want it.  Don’t need it.

Here’s a perfect example of the kind of shit I don’t need.  At work, I’ve sent several emails to two co-workers, both in management.  These two have a terrible track record for responding to emails, and when they do, they leave me with more questions than I had at the onset.  I need timely answers.  Well, I’m not getting them.

This is not an issue limited to me, so a new policy has been put in place.  Send the email once.  If you have to resend, copy this other manager.  If still no answer, copy the owner of the company.  Unbelievable, right?!

I’m kind of nice, when I shouldn’t be.  I don’t escalate the emails to other managers.  I quietly resend.

Today, I took the time to go through my sent mail folder and resend all of the emails to which I have not rec’d a response.  As I pushed the send button I made a friendly bet with a co-worker:

I’ve sent these reminder emails.  Now, you watch.  In response, I will get my own reminder email from one of these guys & this will happen within two hours.

Sure enough – there it is.  And the prick copies the owner!  Okay…so this makes me look bad.  At least that’s what my co-worker is trying to do.

Let’s back-track a little.  I am resending emails that are one week, two weeks old.  I am missing information these guys are supposed to provide.  Quirky decisions are being made.  For instance if we have to assemble X number of finished goods, then they produced X-Y goods for no apparent reason.  One of the emails is wondering when the balance of goods will be completed.  This is critical, time sensitive shit.  It’s also an example as to the subject matter of my inquiries.

The reminder email that came in retort (copying the owner) was originally sent to me Friday afternoon around 4pm.  It was a request to have something done by Wednesday afternoon (today).  Saturday and Sunday constitutes the weekend, at least where I work.  Monday was family day.  I didn’t get to it yesterday, but that’s fine because it’s requested for today.  At noon, halfway through the day, I get this friggin’ reminder.

Needless to say…it was a petty response from a very insecure co-worker.  Like the first thing that went through his mind was – “Oh yeah?!  I’ll show you.”  And he didn’t.  I still met my deadline.

Who knows?

September 28, 2007

I don’t have a noble profession.  I work in the alcohol industry.  I don’t like drinking.  I don’t like drunk people.  I especially don’t (really) like myself when I am drunk.  It’s a poison & through virtue of association, I become evil when I imbibe.

I would like to entertain people in movie theatres and bookstores (someday!), but I am not sure this is a noble profession either.  I am not sure of anything anymore.  Writing is noble if it’s intent is to provoke thought, to teach.  I like to create uniquely dystopian realities and fiddle about with human actions within.  You would never want to be a hero in one of our stories, maybe in the new one, but this one is different.

The new story is fun.  I want to entertain with this one.  I want action from the beginning to the end.  There’s no time for romance.  I took something that bothers me about movies and switched it around.  I won’t ever write about the specifics of any of my ideas here.

I was hung up for five weeks at a certain point.  I didn’t think about the problem for the whole time, I needed a little holiday.  I finally figured it out the other night.  Essentially, I was stuck in the middle of some farmer’s field in the middle of Oklahoma.  I had a way out, but it wasn’t complete.  I mean, I could get away from the field, but I couldn’t get away from this means of conveyance once away from the field.


I think it will work.  I’ve been working on it for the past few nights.

I’m running long.  If I want to stick with a 120-page limit, then I’ve got 24 pages left.  I’m close to the conclusion, but not that close!  Damn.  I’ve read and re-read the first eighty pages so many times…I don’t know what I could cut out.  It’s lean & it moves.  I have a couple of scenes which aren’t essential to the plot, but these are only three lines of action each (at most!).

I still don’t know if I like it or not.  I am always up & down.  Right now…down.  I think it’s shit.  I would like to finish in the next week or so, then start re-working.  H & I are due to start working together in about four-five weeks.  That’s my deadline.

I need to be doing this.  I need H to be happy with it.  We need to have some fresh output for this year.  I want to be clear of #7 by the end of next year.  I am a firm believer in moving forward.  We learn something new every time we start a new project.  I think these lessons would be missed if we kept reworking the same material over and over again.  We always try writing something a little different than what we’ve done before.  We always try to do something that’s never really been done…not sure we’re going to be successful if we follow that formula!!

We can always return to some old (crappy) project and edit.  The more first draft material we have down, the better.  For instance, we already have three…all three need to be reworked – no doubt.  Knowing this, it is better for us to move forward and try something new, learn something more, move forward a few more steps.

We haven’t edited #1 since it was written.  We’ve edited #3 three times.  #3 still needs work.  I think we might have made changes too soon, or we didn’t make the right changes.  Time and experience are the only things that can help us with this.  When we finally edit #1 – the work we do will be far better than the sum of all three edits on #3.  We will have spent more time gaining more experience and will be better writers then than now.

The first draft is the toughest.  Just get something on paper.  It’s much easier to change something than to craft from nothing, even if you’re completely yanking the scene (it’s one less option – plus you have a better sense of what will work by seeing something that doesn’t!).

 So there I am…page 96…and still a long way to go.  Home sweet home.

I have a confession.  This is the first feature length script I have written alone.  Do I prefer it to working with a partner?  I don’t think so.  I really enjoy the creative energy and dynamic of working with H.  I think we compel each other to be better, to excel.  I will probably always have a side project on the go (from here on in), but the main focus is the partnership.  We started together and we will finish together.  This is the nature of true partnerships.  This is why I am confident we will succeed together.  It will take time, but mark my words, we will succeed.

We are exceptional at what we do…we just need to work on format!!  That’s the easy part (I think!).

Visionless Sight

September 7, 2007

‘Think outside of the box’.  I friggin’ hate that phrase, it’s very much ‘inside the box’.  In this age of technology, the individual has to be well-rounded, so why aren’t we thinking outside the ‘sphere’?  The ‘box’ is so unimaginative in terms of words, even the ‘cube’ is better.

Someone who can’t think outside the ‘sphere’ demanded that someone else think outside the ‘box’.  It’s a simple case of the ‘pot calling the bong sticky’.

Vision is a mental condition where sight is one of the five senses.  The blind CAN lead the blind.  Those who can see don’t always know where they are.

Smile Stupid

July 22, 2007

It’s not my fault you didn’t get an education, so put a smile on your god damned face when you’re serving me in your menial capacity at work.  You baked your cake (a metphor…not a shot at bakers – baking is very technical & challenging!).  I’m not sorry you used baking soda instead of flour.  You wouldn’t have done that had you been able to cope with instructions.

I didn’t receive any scholarships to pay for my tuition.  My parents didn’t pay for my education.  They taught me how to work & I did the rest on my own.  There were many tough days which grew into tough times & it took a lot of hard work to get to this shitty point in my career.

I’m not where I want to be, but I don’t make that everyone else’s problem.  I buckle down, put my humungous nose to the grind stone and work.  I am a slave to my perception of freedom.

When I am free, I will have even less tolerance for those who didn’t dream, didn’t strive for or accomplish anything.  I don’t understand how you don’t make things better when it’s within your control to do so.


May 27, 2007

I’m having strange visions of my demise in my mind.  I am feeling as gloomy inside as it is out.  I’m whacked.  I went to bed just before midnight and awoke at six.  I am tired but not in the mood to sleep.  I am not in the mood for anything today.  I think I’m down because I have to go to the office today to catch up on crap.  I am so tired of catching up on crap.  So tired.

Chump Change

May 23, 2007

Yesterday was a monumental day with my job, which amuses me because I didn’t feel like working.  Today was a continuation.  Remarkable progress in a very little time – four months to be precise.  One morning in January, I woke up miserable and stressed out.  I was tired of my job, worried about my personal financial situation, stressed out about life and generally crappy. 

No one would help me.  No one could help me.  I am the only one who can change things for me.  So I made a decision.  I was going to make the most out of my situation.  I envisioned a plan and began execution immediately, but subtly.  I will not let up or give in.  I maintain my focus and am suddenly aware of opportunities where before there was only dreary work.  The dreary work still exists.  There aren’t many careers without it.  But now, there’s some excitement.  I am earning the company (and myself) extra money where before I wasn’t much more than a cost.

Even chumps can change.  Things are coming together…quickly. 

Job v. Dream v. Me

May 17, 2007

Today is one of those where I don’t feel like working on my job, but on my dream.  My job sustains me.  My dream lifts me up.  One does not exist without the other.  I do not exist without either.  They conflict with each, fighting for my time, my attention.  I give too much to the job and not enough to the dream.  I am going to change this.  Life is too hectic, too screwed up and ever changing.  I love it some days.  I want to be set free from the confines of what I need to do for sustenance.  I want to feed & live on the dream.

I am not happy when I am not writing.  The crap I throw on here is temporary relief of the pressure, but does nothing to help in a larger sense.  I have developed a physical imperative to tell stories, to teach, to entertain, to provoke – to write.  When I do not satisfy this imperative, I become dark, dreary, moody, head-achy, and generally unpleasant to be around.  I don’t like myself when I am not writing.  I feel like shit.  If nothing is ever read, published, produced.  Well, that’s life.  I won’t ever stop.  I can’t.

Now I have to go and do what I need to do to get paid.  My back hurts when I think about it.